


Mike Hanlon Stanning BuzzFeed Unsolved For Like * Minutes

by Rosalee_Kenneth



Series: The Losers Being Dumbasses for * Fics Straight [6]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, Famous Beverly Marsh, Famous Bill Denbrough, Famous Richie Tozier, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mentions of Buzzfeed Unsolved, Mike Stans BuzzFeed Unsolved, Multimedia, Stan Is Having A Field Day, Stan Is Just Losing It Constantly, Twitter, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23072308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosalee_Kenneth/pseuds/Rosalee_Kenneth
Summary: Mike Hanlon @miketakeyououtlaterSome days I wish to have been killed by Pennywise just so that Shane and Ryan could do a BuzzFeed Unsolved episode about me
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: The Losers Being Dumbasses for * Fics Straight [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611139
Comments: 27
Kudos: 291





	Mike Hanlon Stanning BuzzFeed Unsolved For Like * Minutes

**Author's Note:**

> if you don't watch BuzzFeed Unsolved then a lot of shit in this fic will confuse you, but I hope you look past that and just enjoy me self-projecting myself into Mike

**Mike Hanlon Stanning BuzzFeed Unsolved For Like * Minutes**

**1.9M views**

****

[Ben, Eddie, Mike, and Stan on their podcast ‘Not Famous’]

 **Stan** : So I’m staying with Mike for a bit, since my apartment building had a gas leak, but um…literally every single night when I’m trying to sleep I just hear him yelling shit like ‘it’s a fucking ghost’ or ‘get your shit together, Shane’. I haven’t slept in a solid 3 days, and it’s your fucking fault, Mike.

 **Mike** : I’m sorry—a new season of BuzzFeed Unsolved came out this week and it’s so fucking good.

 **Eddie** : Listeners, a thing you have to know about Mike is that he is the biggest BuzzFeed Unsolved fan in the world. There are times when all of us Losers are watching a movie together and Mike is just on his phone watching the show.

 **Ben** : Just last month I asked Mike if he could help build a bookcase with me and he just texted me ‘Sorry, I can’t. I’m watching BuzzFeed Unsolved season 5’.

 **Mike** : [defensively] To prepare myself for season 6!

 **Eddie** : Ok, be honest—how many times have you seen BuzzFeed Unsolved season 5?

 **Mike** : True Crime or Supernatural?

 **Eddie** : Both.

 **Mike** : True Crime—around 5. Supernatural—around 9.

 **Stan** : And you don’t think you have a problem?

 **Mike** : Ok, so Richie can binge-watch 17 seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians in 2 days and that’s fine?

 **Ben** : We expect that shit from Richie, you’re suppose to be the rock of the friend group, Mike.

 **Mike** : All my braincells disappear the minute Ryan puts on his reading voice.

***

[Mike’s Instagram Story]

 **Mike** : LolaDressing asked me ‘Who’s your favorite character from the Hot Daga?’. That’s a great question. I would have to say Maize because she’s an utter badass who just wants to save her wife. Although, I am quite partial to Mike, and not just cause we share the same name. He’s just a chill can of soup with a spaceship called Minestrone.

 **Stan** : [offscreen] What the fuck are talking about, Mike?

***

[Bill’s Instagram Story]

*Bill zooms in on an unsuspecting Mike who’s watching a video on his phone with Air Pods in*

*Bill zooms out to reveal all the Losers staring at him annoyed while something is playing on the TV*

 **Richie** : Mike, we’re literally watching Supernatural. What more do you want?

***

> **Mike Hanlon @miketakeyououtlater**
> 
> Some days I wish to have been killed by Pennywise just so that Shane and Ryan could do a BuzzFeed Unsolved episode about me

> **Stan Uris @stanthemanuris**
> 
> _replying to @miketakeyououtlater_
> 
> Yeah, it’s a real fucking shame you’re alive, Mike. Out of all the horrible things Pennywise did him not killing is you is number one on the list.

***

[Stan’s Instagram Story]

*Stan is offscreen and his camera is pointed to a door that is fully closed*

 **Mike** : [from behind the door] Fuck you, Shane! How fucking dare you kill Gene!

*there is a gentle sobbing noise coming from behind the door*

 **Stan** : I just need to say that he’s crying about animated French fries right now. Let that sink in.

***

[Ben, Eddie, Mike, and Stan on their podcast ‘Not Famous’]

 **Stan** : Next question comes in from Cynthia Dime who asked ‘As someone who is also a really big fan of BuzzFeed Unsolved, I get really happy when Mike talks about it during the podcast. My question is for him and it’s that if he could place himself in any episode of BuzzFeed Unsolved with Shane and Ryan, which episode would it be? I love the podcast and especially Mike. Thank you for making such great content.’ Well, thank you Cynthia for that compliment and that question. Mike, take the mic.

 **Mike** : Gotta say that that’s an amazing question and I’m so glad you asked it. Uh…well I have to pick the Goatman’s Bridge episode. Maybe if I was there during the episode then I could’ve gotten 1/3 permission of the Bridge that Ryan and Shane stole.

 **Eddie** : They stole a bridge?

 **Mike** : Sorta…I’ll explain it later.

 **Eddie** : I don’t give that much of a shit, Mike.

***

> **Mike Hanlon @miketakeyououtlater**
> 
> I hate the fact that my friends refuse to watch BuzzFeed Unsolved, yet they use the ‘Hey Ghouls, It’s Me…Ya Boi’ meme every fucking chance they get in our group chat.

> **Richie Tozier** **✔** **@trashmouthtozier**
> 
> _replying to @miketakeyououtlater_
> 
> **Mike Unhealthy Love of BuzzFeed Unsolved**
> 
> *linked photo of the ‘Hey ~~Ghouls~~ , It’s Me…Ya ~~Boi~~ ’ meme*

***

[BuzzFeed Unsolved Post-Mortem: Vampire Murders Q+A]

 **Shane** : This question comes from a @miketakeyououtlater on Twitter—sick username—who asked, ‘This is unrelated to anything that happened in the episode but what Loser do you find yourself relating to the most?’.

 **Ryan** : By ‘Loser’ I believe he means the friend group that Hollywood is obsessed with lately, right?

 **Shane** : Yeah—I believe so.

 **Ryan** : Uh…well, I think that I relate the most to Eddie.

 **Shane** : Cause you’re both short and have beady eyes?

 **Ryan** : Yes, but also cause he seems to know what he believes in and calls bullshit on things that he doesn’t.

 **Shane** : Ok, well I think I’m Beverly. She’s just cool and seems like the type of person that doesn’t really take shit too seriously.

 **Ryan** : I would’ve said you’re Richie.

 **Shane** : I thought I was a Richie, but like—

 **Ryan** : You’re straight.

 **Shane** : I was gonna say that I don’t think I’m as funny as him, but, you know, thanks for pointing out the obvious, Ryan.

***

> **Beverly Marsh** **✔** **@bevvyboop**
> 
> Mike: Hand me the AUX chord
> 
> Us: Don’t play trash, Mike
> 
> Mike: *proceeds to play this song called Plupple Honeymoon*

***

[Bill’s Instagram Story]

*Bill’s camera is pointed from behind Mike and is showing him watching The Hot Daga: Complete Season 2*

*There is seemingly a dart board with Bill Hader’s face on it beside the TV*

 **Mike** : [gasps] What a twist!

 **A Voice That Sounds A Lot Like Richie** : [offscreen and whispering] So, the hot dog is a witch now?

***

[Mike’s Instagram Livestream]

 **Mike** : I just saw the BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural season 6 trailer and I’m honestly so fucking pumped. I’m really excited to see the video where Ryan is just screaming, and Shane is laughing at him. I guess that is their whole dynamic, but it never gets old and I’m still here for it. Carol Jennings said, ‘Why are you every 13-year-old girl when a BuzzFeed Unsolved trailer gets put out?’. Well, Carol, why are you being such a bitch about one of the greatest things on YouTube to this day. It’s honestly quite embarrassing for you.

***

> **Bill Denbrough** **✔** **@puttingthebiinbill**
> 
> BuzzFeed Unsolved: *two amateur ghost-hunters who have yet to find a ghost*
> 
> Mike: *has defeated a demonic killer clown twice*
> 
> Also Mike: Shane and Ryan are soooo cool, I wish I could be more like them

***

[Richie’s Instagram Story]

*Mike’s phone is on a kitchen counter and Mike is nowhere to be seen*

*Richie taps on Mike’s phone to reveal a song called ‘Believe Me, Maize’ playing on Mike’s Air Pods*

*although the background is mostly hidden you can also see a picture of Beverly, Richie, Eddie, and Bill all cheering at the sight of Ben and Stan throwing two darts in the exact spot of Bill Hader’s eyes*

*that frightens you*

***

[Bill’s Instagram Story]

*Mike and Richie are sat on a couch watching an episode of BuzzFeed Unsolved*

 **Richie** : I don’t get it—they just go to places they think are haunted and then come out saying they didn’t catch a ghost?

 **Mike** : [angrily and defensively] It’s not about whether or not they catch the ghost! It’s about their banter, friendship, and overall dynamic!

 **Richie** : Their whole shtick is whether or not ghosts exist. We literally fought a demon clown—shouldn’t you know better than anyone that the supernatural does exist?

 **Mike** : [exasperated] It’s about Shane and Ryan’s delightful asides and witty humor.

 **Richie** : I don’t think you’re aware of what this friendship is, Mike. Who am I if not your partner in crime with equally enjoyable witty humor?

*Mike buries his face in his hands in exhaustion*

***

> **Faced With Your Façade @fakeittillyouhateit**
> 
> I didn’t think I could love Mike more than I already do but here we are…
> 
> *linked photo of Mike walking unsuspectedly down the street wearing a shirt with the words ‘I’m here for the cult stuff’ on it*

> **Mike Hanlon @miketakeyououtlater**
> 
> _replying to @fakeittillyouhateit_
> 
> That shirt is one of my proudest purchases. I have zero regrets about ever buying it.

> **Stan Uris @stanthemanuris**
> 
> _replying to @fakeittillyouhateit @miketakeyououtlater_
> 
> You should have a few, Mike.

***

[Bill’s Instagram Livestream with Beverly and Eddie]

 **Bill** : Eddie, Bev, and I have all recently started watching BuzzFeed Unsolved, and we actually really like it.

 **Eddie** : The thing is we can never let Mike know this since he will have an actual aneurysm.

 **Beverly** : It’s a good show. Apparently, Shane and Ryan think me and Eddie are the ones they relate to the most—I can see it.

 **Eddie** : If Beverly and I ever start hunting ghosts, don’t be surprised.

 **Bill** : What would your ghost hunting name be?

 **Eddie** : The Demon Destroyers.

 **Beverly** : Oh, nice. I was thinking of Spirit Sluts.

 **Eddie** : [gasps] Cause we’re sluts for catching spirits.

 **Bill** : Mike is gonna die if he ever sees this.

*a phone chime goes off*

 **Beverly** : Mike texted the group chat. He said ‘I hate you guys and the minute I come over there we are all going to watch BuzzFeed Unsolved’. He also said ‘Go with spirit sluts’.

**Thanks For Watching**

**Comments:**

**Loraine Matthews:**

aka Mike being the most relatable Loser for * minutes straight

_2.4k likes_

**Manila Luzon Is My Queen:**

Mike is too sweet for this world

_763 likes_

**Belle DiMachio:**

The fact that Mike cried when Gene died. Protect that man.

_1.4k likes_

**Sydney Not Syd:**

The Ghoul Boys who? I only know the Spirit Sluts.

_4.1k likes_

**Boogara Bants:**

Mike wearing BuzzFeed Unsolved merch is amongst one of the best things I’ve ever seen

_902 likes_

**Wonder Bread Is White:**

When did Bill change his username handle on Twitter?

_1.1k likes_

**Ian Juniper Augustyniak:**

The fact that Mike unironically listens to the Hot Daga soundtrack is just *chef’s kiss*

_1.2k likes_

**Gina Lass:**

Everyone: I want the Bill Hader and Losers feud

Me: When’s the BuzzFeed Unsolved and Mike crossover tho?

_3.5k likes_

**Author's Note:**

> Send Suggestions, Spirit Sluts  
> -xoxo a ghost 👻


End file.
